Wednesday, August 18, 2021

solo frustration

fucwe all feel inadequate in our own skin

everyone else is cooler than we are

those who are confident are better than us

pushing past that, we all have our inner freaks

it's the amazing part of each of us, where we can finally blow the lid off this shit and cut loose.

find people, places, things, animals, whatever the fuck it is...that help you cut loose.

music is a huge part of that for me

music taps into something deep within my soul

I need more music in my life

it's like therapy

It makes my soul sing...or vibrate with the broader themes running around the world.


so many songs resonate and flow around the lyrics

the song flows by and the beat hit hard and i always think about youi

but you dont want and you dont fuck and you dont think about me

I'm thinking about level 10 fucking but it always ends up being a -2

how can you end up lower when you get what you want but its just not the same

sex is like pizza and i really like pizza because just about no matter what that shit's pretty damn good

just about any sex is good sex but sex with you just isn't usually that great

it's like fucking a blow up doll that doesnt really give a fuck about giving me a fuck


Do you really give a fuck when you're giving a fuck? 

sometimes a fuck is just a fuck

sometimes a duck just won't cluck 

but I'm not going to fuck that duck if it doesn't give a fuck

so tired of not giving a fuck about getting fucked. 

it's like cardboard

I could never have imagined being this bored

with this many options


quit my job because who needs it

shit is a variable and sometimes that's fun, yo

omg

music is the pulse of life

throbbing when you need it

banging up new peaks, pumps, breaks and bumps

this shit is life

give me a bottle of wine and a banging beat and most nights, I'm rocking at my peak.

What to do with all that?


so let's get down, let's get down to business

songs get my juices flowing.

they make me want to move

need to move


I need to learn piano

that shit is the underpinnings...the fundamentals...of so much EDM and other music.

include reading sheet music 


we've had a million, million nights just like this.

I'll give you one more night,  one more night you got this.

you've had a million, million nights just like this

so let's get down, let's get down to business


oooh yeah, yeah


i remember when sex used to be a mutual thing

it's almost as if she gave up on it when....

but she did

she quit

made it all about me

that's fucked up

relationships aren't like that

they have to be mutual to function

we have to aspire to enjoy what we both enjoy

I think