Wednesday, November 07, 2007

leftovers (ported from myspace)

so many thoughts...sitting around in my head. not that I would call them pent up thoughts...they are not held captive...but they do yearn for freedom.
often, thoughts feel as though they are just percolating...marinating..."getting ready" to be released. they are not always fully formed when they are set free, but it must be their time. so many things to think, so few things worth saying.

this weekend's talk hit home to me in regards to prayer. it is a very interesting thing to me, this prayer topic. honesty with oneself is imperative in truly developing as a human (not that i'm pretending that there is a "should" or something to be acheived as a human, but more of a personal "should" for each of us to stive for and to spend our lives growing into). honesty is insanely difficult to achieve in this world of perceptions and having to protect and develop one's image. honesty requires that we are unbiased about ourselves.

my thoughts digress... |next|

thoughts are amazing. the process of thinking is fascinating. i often find myself overfull, overwhelmed with this or that. call it work life relationships, call it whatever but my head fills up. I have too many thoughts (of late, it is suprising even to me that I do not overload on wedding topics) to process that invade - attacking my sanity one second at a time. often i am too lax with myself...not paying attention to what is running through my head...checking out without stopping to check in to see what is crossing the scanner at the checkoutstation of my thoughts...buying whatever happens to pop up in front of my human eyes (flawed as they are). it is so easy to let the guard down.


it is difficult to focus on meaning. meaning to who? who is this written for? it is written to help in bringing what might otherwise be lost as unconscious jargon up to the conscious level and forcing it to be processed and seen by my own two eyes. bringing thoughts that _could_ be worth thinking up to the surface for processing. thoughts are so easily lost. they sink down into the depths of our overfull brains...possibly never to see the light of the conscious again. some of the best ideas are lost exactly this way. they pop up (no, not like your IE experience) are barely acknowleged, then sink down into the vast wilderness that is the rest of the brain. where are these thoughts stored and where can we find them? why didnt I get a library card for all of the data in my head? why am I not able to recall and checkout any piece of data that intrigues me? I am subject to some other thoughts are not mine, they are only fleeting, temporary gifts that stop in to say "hi" then leave just as fast. few stay...few that are taken in for a quality look...