sometimes life feels just like that...like we were promised something fun and great (a knock at the door) and we end up with stinky shoes and a mess on the porch (poo). maybe it's just me. it sucks, no doubt about it. i have been going through some odd stress in personal life (private), work life (two job transitions, stressful negotiations, lame coworkers), holidays (normal, retarded stress - quick tangent: if they are supposed to be about family and CHRIST (mas), why do they suck so much for the 3 weeks beforehand? (WTP?)) and the added bonus of exploring the possibility of buying a 2nd house. i'm not one who typically lets stress get in and really exist in life. i do know that i have intermitten stresses, here and there...mostly related to work...with a project deadline or something silly...but work to me is not CORE...it's just an add on to life. it is not anywhere near the foundation of who i am...it does not contain anything that could truly impact ME...just something that serves as a source of revenue and a place to meet people (good people...all the stinkers can stay home, please). dunno. i'm different. i know that. i think there is something on top of that as well...we have this economy mess. i think we are just cresting...just entering 1 of 2 places: either the beginning of a steep, bad bad bad downward spiral or possibly just starting to see the true magnitude of the problem (and the worst of it) from which we will have to pick up the pieces and move on. what worries me is that so many people are so negative. that negativity pervades our society these days. people are so stuck on (no, we can't change and do it another way) that we went with obama (yeah, i voted for him) just because he was spouting this speech of the past "yes, we can". seriously. think about that. it's a testament as to how sad we are...how in the dumps america is. thats not why i voted for him, but i do see that as one of the key underlying connections that he made with MOST americans.
i for one...well...i refuse to fall into that negativity and "can't do" attitude. i refuse to fall in to the pit that is america and that is this world...that is this earth. i refuse. i have something more than that. God has given me more than that inside me and he has given me more than that in the hope and the promise in Jesus. i dont have time to be brought down. a good example today actually. i bought a new bike a few weeks ago...and i was riding over to a friends house today from church...just because. anyways, i havent spent a lot of time on the bike in quite some time so i'm balls to the wall without the technical right to actually be riding as crazy as i do. so i'm zooming along...and a car pulls out too far on the corner for me to make it up the handycap ramp...so i try to jump the curb. i made it up...but lost control for a bit...and slammed pretty hard into a sign post. mostly just hit my fore arm and upper arm...but it was a solid blow. as i'm recovering and getting back on to ride, i hear someone laughing behind me. weird, i thought, and rode on. i made it a little farther down the road and the car with the "laugher" ends up stopped next to me at a red light. there are 4 inside, with the two (guys) in the back laughing at my near-disasterous crash. something about how much i sucked or something. i was confused...like "i nearly just died or ate $h!+...and you're laughing?...really?" i didnt really have time to think through it at the time...but as i rode on...i was just blown away. thoughts such as "what a jack@$$...REALLY?...wow, people suck" passed through my mind...dang. i didnt really understand.
i stopped for food...filled my tired to their recommended pressures at the gas station...and just had that stuff running through my head. after awhile, i calmed down...the adrenaline from the near disaster experience flushed out of my system...and i finally settled on my conclusion regarding the kid's (probably 16yrs old) reaction: i think it sucks that it is ok...accepted or even allowed that people react like that. if that was my kid, i would have kicked him out of the car and made him walk home to show him that that kind of a reaction is not ok...but it goes further. i think it really struck a chord within me...just how negative and evil some people are in our society. with all of the raw, exposed, bloody, sexual content on the web and TV, our filters are gone. we watch shows like seconds from disaster...and hit up sites like TMZ and E! to get the latest failures in hollywood royalty...we see every mistake, large and small of anyone that we want...barack obama, john mccain cussing out a lady in the senate...britney not wearing all her clothes or possibly even her shaving her head and going through a mental breakdown...and we are trained to be interested and not to care...but to laugh and be entertained (from gladiator "are you not entertained?!")...we (christians) need to break that cycle. we are not of this world...we are called to be different...to be outcasts...persecuted for our beliefs...made fun of and spat on...possibly even killed...
i still dont know how i could have reacted differently in that moment to have made an impact on that kid. every response that i can muster (at least today) is doused in negativity, dripping with sarcasm and hate...hmm...not that i'm mad...i just dont know how to say something that shows that thats not cool and that god loves him.