(Gen 18:1-2, 9-15) reading about sarah and abraham this morning...in the context of "fear". it reveals an interesting side of God in that a lot of times it seems like God is a God of fear and that he will just lay down the preverbial hammer on us (striking folks down when carrying the ark of the covenant and whatnot) without too much provocation. This story...after reading it in the context of how it display's God's rational, loving side...really shows that He understands that we are human and that we are going to make mistakes...and He already knows which disappointments we are going to live through...He already knows the plan He has for us (Jer 29:11)...and what we are going to do with what He has given us in the form of intellect (one that I will be ever-thankful for...both my own and that of others that He has blessed me with knowing), material blessings, friends, family, the particular upbringing that each of us experienced, the jobs we have...so much.
back to the story...even though God knew that Sarah doubted Him to the point of laughing at His promise of a child...He did not snap at her, but simply delivered on his promise and gave them a child (which He later tested Abraham with...proving Abe's mettle yet again...). I suppose the reality of this story is that we should all see how good God is in our own daily lives and build our faith on that. I get so frustrated...so often...with my work situation...my relationship...silly little things...God tests me over and over again...and it is sad how often I get caught on the little things...I get caught up with the fact that I have not been promoted...though I have already been blessed with so much in my life. I tend to focus too much on being happy...vs being joyful in what I have...who I have...what God has done for me/given to me...smiles!
another (concious) realization of late...is how impactful being in the Bible every day is. I am so lazy and have such a tough time getting into the routine of reading everyday...i have this devotional book "Fearless" that my bro Alex gave me that i'm trying to work through...(prompted this whole monologue)...diggin it. it's one of those 40 day plan/devotionals with a surfing theme...pretty neat. anyways...i'm going to make an earnest effort to build devotional time/bible reading time into my schedule...starting with this book. good times...
what a great way to start the work day...friday even. hmm...stream...hawaii...costa rica...life is so odd...i love the continual shifting of focus...of the random insights...of the random friends and random messages...i love self discovery...love learning...love questioning - special note on that topic: i have be internally deliberating about what I should be spending my time on...studying the Bible...or studying computers/linux. not that they are really parallel studies...but they are both vying for my time...for my cognitive processes to choose them to develop and work on...in august...i chose linux...i read through an entire book (~600 pgs of tech-geek speak) and carried it with me everywhere...it really got me thinking as to what my commitment was/should be...yeah. fun stuff...anyways...i guess i am usually more compelled to study about linux because it's fun...i say fun because they are both "interesting" topics in that I can get excited/stimulated/edumacated by reading about linux or by reading the bible...and i know that they are both great topics for me to learn. the bible...i learn about God and all of the facets of God in my life...little revelations such as the one today...that might not don on me unless looked at from another angle...and i know linux is good, as i do have some sort of almost innate understanding of computers...and i brutalized them for so long that i really feel that i should be giving back...and i feel that linux allows me to do that. in fact, just today, i gave two linux books and a burned (legal) copy of my favorite flavor to a guy at work...
its a very interesting study..."the bible vs linux"...they are both "open source"...they are both pretty much free (just need to invest time in both...other than the computer, i suppose)...but i think what really catches me is that they are both evangelical...i say that because Christianity is quite obviously evangelical...but it is somehow more PC to talk about linux. not that i'm about being PC as that has always been something i have tried to challenge and push the limits on (some areas of PC are a joke to me...and i have to challenge things that just don't make sense)...weird. so i'm not about being PC...but it is easier to talk about linux. is it more socially acceptable to talk about linux? not sure. i do know that when i bring up Christianity at work...whether provoked or not...i tend to get nervous...probably red in the face and a fun little sheen shows up on my forehead...but yeah...i'm also ok with "growing pains"...hmm...yeah...that's one of my primary internal discussions of late...i know i'm supposed to be working/living to glorify God...which I can do through knowing the Word as well as knowing what gifts I have been given and using them to the fullest (my utmost for His highest?) of my ability...i suppose it's just a fine balance...ensuring that the different areas of my life are in check.
fun...kindergarten discussion...these are the things going on inside my mess of color laden hair (it's dead...why not add some color to it?). i need to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and get some more coffee into my belly...
why don't more people blog? is everyone afraid to share their thoughts with the world? i was a little apprehensive about posting my first blog...but i just jumped...like on the Screamer @ Hume....just do it. not like the nike commercial...but like ben stiller in starsky and hutch where he dresses up like the EYE-talian guy in the green sweat suit with the huge side burns..."hey...DO IT" haha...i love that line. but yeah...i'm really curious as to why there aren't more of these. i'm sure everyone has their private little journals...whether a physical book or on some random, myspace-esque server in silicon valley...pouring out thoughts...that you can see visibly, tangibly in front of you...it just helps...i'm sure all the shrinks in the room agree...never mind the fact that i'm alone now...
man, i chewed the poo outta my tongue last night while eating pizza @ family night...ouch...i'm not a fan of the day-after the tongue biting swollen, dulled pain sometimes bleeding tongue thing. doesn't mix well with hot, strong coffee...bah.
running out of intelligent things to say...to tired after not enough sleep to want to say something unintelligent (beyond what has already been schpielled on this page....)
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