Monday, January 28, 2008

life is a spiderweb...stretching in all directions... (ported from myspace)

...words cannot express my confusion...

,,,pulled in every direction,,,

[[[clarity followed immediately by clouded thoughts]]]

///enlightenment chased out of town by mundane matthew......



^^^ intent before discontent vvv

+++upside-down,flip me around+++

thoughts stir in my much that is worth so little so little that is worth pursuing/doing...why?...there is so much that makes noise in this world...pulls us away from our primary focus. this weekend's sermon was on the first bit of the sermon on the mount (with a little bit of background to ramp up to the multi-week teaching) starting in matt 4:23-5:3. we pretty much covered blessed are those that are poor (in spirit)...I heard it twice from 2 diff pastors...and both angles were touched on - those that are financially poor and those that are poor in the spirit (needing God?). God listens to those that NEED our world, it is very very very hard to get to the point where we feel we NEED God. the reality of the situation however, is very different.

it is because there is so much going on in the world that we NEED God everyday.
it is because we are so blessed (financially, resource wise, weather wise, etc etc ad finitum) that we NEED God so much
it is because it is so easy not to get into situations where we feel we NEED God to save us (from lions, tax collectors, starvation, hepatitis, cannibalism, world war 2 or large man-eating beetles) that we do truly NEED God.

and that is my struggle...stuck in this complacency that is the USA in easy (truly) to make enough to prosper even (everone in the US is rich compared to the rest of the world)...but it's all crap. it's harder for a rich man to get into heaven than for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle. that was talked at length this weekend but I still havent come to terms with it. that's friggin hard to get past. yeah, we can (and should) give all that we can to further the kingdom...yeah, we can say that the iphone that I have is something that can be used to reachout and connect with people...something i have in common with others or something that i can use in ministry...but i can also say that it's something that represents a TON of money ($429.83) that could have been used to buy beans and rice to feed real, human people that are truly in need of food. how's that? you say that there are people within driving distance that actually NEED food? that NEED food to the extent that bringing said food would be an answer to their prayers? wow. how 'bout that iphone now...feeling guilty (schindler's list pops to mind - the end scene where he sees his car and thinks about how many more lives could have been saved...) many things that pull us away from our true calling. i almost want to make a list of what the priorities are in my life and ensure everyday that i am holding up my end of the bargain (i can put the list on my iphone...maybe then i wont feel so bad about having it)...1) love God 2) love thy neighbor (gotta love the good ol' KJV) etc etc...i mean really...if we are not living up to God's priorities...God's commandments and we end up in hell...who really cares that i had the coolest piece of tech on the planet (iphone, for those of you that were wondering) for a few years if I'm damned to an eternity of damnation in the worst place unimaginable?

compound all that with the fact that most of us will spend most of our waking lives working to earn money to pay for things that we really don't need...iphones...huge houses by the ocean...oversize rocks for rings...blah...futility...vanity...being human sucks dude

i tend to end on a note like this...futility/negativity/hopelessness. not that i'm a negative person...just that i have so much running around in my head that I have to let some of the junk out and throw down some words to really process everything. keep on lovin folks...and don't settle for whatever society has you convinced is all that you deserve...God has so much in store for each of us...keep prayin on it...keep on lovin folks...go to church!...the power of fellowship is fingers are tired

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