life is really wacky at times. i really think that i'm too tired too often...but what is "too tired"? i'm not terribly sure that there is such a thing. the scientists that know everything say that a person who goes through sleep deprivation can never recover in that the body never really makes up the hours of sleep juice that are missed. it's an odd thing about life...i love sleep...but i love being awake more (most of the time...there are always those times when i wish i could just slip into sleep and not live life...) there's just so much going on all the time. so many freaking good books to read (ok, most of mine are about linux or reading your email or whatever)...but dang man...how's a man to cope with the ...er...copious amounts of raw knowledge that are out there (y'know...THERE)...especially with the internet and all...it's ridiculous. for every person that actually makes a webpage...there are like another 100 that are just as interested in the topic, just not motivated to setup a web page...for every person that posts on www.linuxquestions.org about their laptop not working...ther are another 10 that didnt post...but just read other posts (but experienced the same issue and resultant resolution)...freaking odd if you ask me. there's some guy in brasil or whatever that has the same laptop as me...dual booting slackware 11 and...some other oddball distro (maybe ubuntu 6.06)...has a rocking setup. it's weird. but on to the knowledge thing...what do we do with all of it? kinda bouncing off of thoughts from ~14hrs ago...what do we do with it? why do i have a thirst for this knowledge, but not that? why do i care about cooking and computers...but not barbies or bar-B-ques? (ok, it would be more than a little weird if i spent my days thinking about barbies...) but weird. linux a penguin terminal BSOD laptop kde .org's in general LUGs keyboards typing streaming thought...i love it. creation. last night, i created something yummy. i took 3 granny smith apples...cut them up into pieces...put them in a non stick pan (of sufficient size to hold 3 cut up granny smith apples)...threw a couple of tablespoons of margarine on top...some splenda and sugar...some cinnamon...some biscuit dough from the store (flaky kind) rolled out into flats...pressed into muffin pan (pre-sprayed with pam or other anti-stick solution). after cooking apple stuff for a bit...pour into muffin cup thingy's...tuck some dough over the top...poke holes...put in oven @ 450 for 14mins or until golden brown on top....mmm....mmm....mmm goodness. yeah, so what if it bubbled over and smoked up the whole house? (weird that my title actually fit into my story)...yeah, they were good. if i were to do it over, i would not have used splenda...tastes artificial...(oh, and i added a teaspoon of vanilla extract to the apple stuff before cooking)...probably add some powdered cloves to the applestuffs...man that's some good stuff. i should just make the apple piece and pour it over some ice cream. dang. i need to get out of here today...too much life in me to be pent up at work (hard at work...yeah baby). yup...times are good. so what's life doin? i'm still waiting around...struggling about...refusing to settle for the peaceful waters of southern cali lifestyle...stir the freakin water man! rock the boat! what are you doing to keep from "settling" for life? what is settling? different for everyone, to be sure...but what? i suppose one could settle for a mediocre cup o' joe....settle for a job @ PnG vs going for amgen (but why even worry about it?)...settle for supertaco vs going to sal's messican...hmm...is settling just training for the compromise that is life? i really think that life is compromise. think about it. life on earth is not perfect. not intended to be...never was supposed to be (well..after adam and eve, at least)...but basically, for the last 2000+yrs (just to keep it simple/tangible)...life has been imperfect. we are imperfect. God built us as incomplete, faulty beings. we are, from day one, destined to fail at the goal of life that is perfection (not sure if that's my goal...but what the heck, let's just throw it out there). hmm...so as imperfect beings...we could all be considered one form of compromise or another vs that goal...falling short of the mark. we have to deal with compromise daily because we just suck at the perfect thing. what's weird about that deal is that we also know that a lot of the things that we want to do (in our human nature...ie premarital sex...indulging in mass quantities of red vines...staying up late and not getting good sleep...looking at porn...hmmm...wanting more material things...focusing on or putting too much focus on things of this world...) these things are all bad for us...but we want them. freaking weird. so let's take red vines. one of my favorites. in small quantities, red vines are our friends...(as with sex...in marriage = good thing)...just a little bit of flour, sugar, yummy flavorings...red number 8 or whatever...good times. just a little bit of extra caloric fuel to keep us moving throughout the day...contrast that with the kid that buys a jar every week with his allowance and spends every free minute packing them in...that's not so good. God would not be happy just because the kid is not excercising any sort of self control. that...will lead to other things that are definitely not so good. it's just a huge domino effect in life. one thing...one small thing (like me browsing the web at work) can and will just pile up and pile up...gradually...creeping in on your goodness...it will slowly overwhelm a person. as they say...one thing leads to another. temptation...if you speed a little bit on the freeway...maybe it's ok to go just a little bit faster. but eventually, the cop is going to get ya. that's pretty much guaranteed. inevitably...like in the matrix...on the train tracks...ya hear that? that's the sound of...well..of whatever it was...i'm not recalling the exact word right now. " A SCANNER DARKLY" - movie. very interesting. watched about 20 mins of it last night...pretty entertaining. kinda excited to see how it all pans out. i guess i should get out of here while i still can. aight...more purging later...life is short...go live it...
Release date: 04 March, 2003